Building a Business during Perimenopause

Guest post by Mindset and Momentum Coach Sarah Brown at Sarah Kay Coaching

I was sitting at my laptop getting ready for a Zoom call with some people in the coaching industry and tears were slowly trickling down my face. 

My husband walked in and saw me and the silent tears turned into big unsightly uncontrollable sobs. 

I didn’t know why I was sad, I didn’t know why I was crying, it just felt so painful inside.

That for me was a real “what the hell is happening to me” moment. 

I managed to clean myself up, go on the Zoom and then start researching peri-menopause.

The Business Idea

I’d always been that girl who knew she wanted more, but wasn’t sure what ‘more’ was. So I tried multiple things, different jobs, travelling, marriage, fitness fads, therapy. 

I was never willing to sit back and accept ‘the way life just is’ and eventually I came across mindset coaching. Developing my self awareness and learning to trust myself changed my life. And I wanted to help other women do the same. 

So at the age of 43, whilst I was also running a small manufacturing firm, I decided to get my certification in coaching. And from there my business idea was born. To help other women realise their own worth, and back themselves into living a life they love. 

I knew it wouldn’t be easy, I knew building a business during perimenopause would take time, commitment and showing up over and over again before seeing results. And I was prepared to do that whilst holding down a full time director role, a marriage and a home. As well as still having some sort of social life. I could do this!

In comes the hormones trying to derail the show…

I’ve always considered myself fairly fortunate with my menstrual cycle. Regular, not bleeding for too long, mild PMT and a day where I craved cheese sandwiches all day long. I knew people had it worse. 

I did have things going on though and have suffered from depression and anxiety all my adult life, which is controlled by fluoxetine. But this was a whole new level to me that I was unaware of and unprepared for. 

Around age 44, just as I was starting up my business, I started getting really bad period pains. 

Off I went to the doctor (again not just accepting the way things were) and a scan revealed fibroids pushing on my womb. So I went for a procedure to remove them and I thought that was that.

So here I am trying to show up consistently to build my business with the positive mindset I’ve come to adopt….it seems my brain had other plans! And my hormones were staging a sit in protest to stop me moving forward. 

I’d find myself staring at my computer screen for an hour at a time, not having a clue what was going on in my mind. Then I would get home, with the intention of updating all of my social media, only to be so fatigued I could do nothing but nap.

Again I put it down to just one of those things, or getting older. As a female, I thought menopause or ‘the change’ happened in your late 50’s. I never knew peri-menopause was even a thing, or that it could last 10 years. 

My mum had a hysterectomy at age 28 so I was too young to remember but she went through forced menopause so I had no comparison. And most of my friends were younger than me. I felt pretty alone in what I was feeling.

And then came the heavy periods again, heavy and painful. I was at work one day, in the factory helping the team of 3 men with something and I happened to look down. My pale blue jeans were covered in blood. To say I was embarrassed was an understatement. Even though the men were incredibly kind about it. I felt like an idiot, I felt like my body had let me down.

The pains which came were quite frankly the most painful things I've felt in my life. I’ve never had children but I can only describe it as a contraction lasting for 3 solid hours, every 12 hours during my period. 

So with that happening every 3 weeks, my work, and my own business were suffering. 

And when it wasn’t my body hindering me, it was my mind. The inner critic I’ve learned to silence over the years through my mindset work was back, louder than ever telling me I’m not good enough, I can’t do this, nobody loves you.

I have said on more than one occasion “I need to pack this business in!” 

Building a business during perimenopause means getting support

One thing it made me think about is the generations of women gone by who were told they were too emotional, too difficult or too irrational when in fact they were going through huge physical changes.

We are blessed now that there is so much support out there, even if you sometimes need to look a little harder for it. 

Having my own self awareness was a huge help. To not only notice, but to understand and to have the tools to redirect some of the mental noise. 

I designed this PDF to help others with this.

I owe my husband a lot of kudos for him also being willing to go on the journey of understanding with me. We communicated, we listened to understand not to respond, and we learned how to give each other what we needed, be it space or a hug. 

Not everyone has that, but finding the right support network is vital, whether it be a partner, a family member, friend or even a group of like minded strangers. The joy of having the internet at our fingertips is there are so many support groups out there. Don’t suffer alone.

Seek medical help. As mentioned, I don't just accept this is what happens to women, I want to optimise my hormones the best I can to support me, so I kept talking to GPs until I found one that heard me properly. The one who didn’t just say “Here take another codeine” when the pain comes, but the one who said “Let’s see what we can find out about this”. 

Adapt your mindset. Perimenopause has taught me that self-awareness isn’t about being able to control every outcome, or silence the negative thoughts completely. It’s about noticing what’s happening, understanding that there may be going on then you initially realised. And choosing what to do next. 

The thought of “I can’t do this” might still be there but it doesn’t mean it’s true. And I refuse to let a temporary hormonal storm decide the direction of my life. 

Sarah Brown is a coach who helps capable women stop overthinking, trust themselves and finally do the things they keep putting off. Through honest conversations, mindset work and a gentle nudge, Sarah helps women create more confidence, clarity and a life that actually lights them up.